Travel Writing Traps
—Knowing too much about the place (you could either be jaded, or overlook the obvious) —Knowing too little about the place and its culture and politics (which can lead to making inappropriate, unfair or unfounded conclusions) —Taking things out of context; not knowing the context (political, historical, geographical, social, cultural, etc.) —Writing down (or up) to your readers —Using too many details, too much description —Telling everything exactly as it happened, rather than rearranging material and events to highlight your focus or to make a point —Focusing too much on yourself, instead of merely using yourself as a window onto or a filter through which to experience the place, as a link between the place/experience and the reader —Passing unfair or inappropriate cultural judgements —Using Racial profiling and racial/ethnic stereotypes
“Here is a dramatic example in a reader’s letter to the online travel zine Mungo Park
DR. RUTH IN THE TROBRIANDS reader savages Mungo Park
Dave Denomie writes to the Editor:
I object strongly to your profuse use of the term savage when referring to the people from New Guinea. Savage is a term that places one’s own culture above others on some supposedly objective scale, while nothing could be less justifiable. Regardless of the customs of head-hunting, I would say that the actual number of individuals killed in such situations would pale in comparison to the numbers of civilians who have been murdered by your own “civilization” in terms of crime, lynching, nuclear weapons dropped on Japan, widespread pollution resulting in cancer, respiratory illness, and many other causes.
In spite of your apparent revulsion at some of the customs of Papua New Guinea’s tribes, and their lack of exposure to what we consider conveniences or technology, it does not give you the right to place yourself on a pedestal above these others by branding them as savages.
I am Ojibwa (American Indian) and we have suffered the same kind of bigotry displayed by your use of this very same term, along with indigenous people all across this continent. Apparently, the same is xenophobia is easily applied to other continents.
People living in 1929 writing about this had ignorance for an excuse; what’s yours? I thought this site was educational, but apparently it’s more of a crass appeal to emotionalism and lurid yellow journalism. Very disappointing. Please unsubscribe me from your mailing list.
”
More Don’ts
—Don’t try to tell too many stories at once (or have too many ideas, too many incidents, too many plots or embed too much information in one anecdote). Slow down.
—Take time —and words—to show (through action, relevant anecdotes, incidents and/or dialogue) rather than simply to tell . Give the reader space to experience. A story that is too busy may tax the reader’s energy just to follow/absorb what’s happening.
—Don’t pack your sentences like Japanese commuter cars—with too much information, as in... She turned, shrieking, throwing up her arms in terror at the sight of the gorilla that had arrived that morning from Africa, which had formerly been its home. (a hilariously awkward overload, that!)
—Don’t let your stories have population explosions
—In describing a three-month trip across Canada or the U.S., or a summer in Italy, you don’t need to put everyone you met into the story. Make each character you choose serve a purpose, convey a cultural outlook, local color, advance the story in some way, entertain, make a point. You may even create composites of characters, as long as they ring authentic, and don’t jeopardize the story’s credibility.
—Don’t preface your story with explanatory material that only makes the reader impatient for the story to begin. Don’t keep readers wondering, What is this story about? When is it going to begin?
—Avoid needless, irrelevant or boring explanations. In describing a visit to a Jamaican rum factory, do you go into scientific detail about the distillation process or spend more words on the sense of place—Jamaica—the culture of rum, types, recipes, colorful history, and characters like rum-runners and pirates? You may embed information about the rum-making process into a tour of the factory, but consider the level of detail you need (or don’t need) to tell your story. Too much can be tedious, and make the reader impatient.
—Avoid the passive voice. The active voice is more energetic, vivid and direct, as in the difference between “I was bitten by a rattlesnake” and... ”A rattle snake bit me!”
—Avoid lack of sentence variety in sentence structure, length, and rhythm. Stories with sentences which are all the same length, employ the same syntax (structure) and have the same rhythm create a monotone effect. Imagine a musical piece with no pauses, no crescendos, no syncopation—no rhythm!—played all loud (forte) or all soft (piano) all slow (allegro) or all fast - and you’re either asleep or annoyed.
—In your quest for sentence variety, avoid using sentences beginning with gerunds and infinite verb phrases. They sound awkward, and may create confusing or illogical sequences. [ Such as: Sampling the Jamaica rum and watching the bottles being filled, we asked our tour guide for some rum-smuggling stories.Or worse... “Firing the hired man and burning down his shack, Eloise drove into town.”] However, the introductory infinite-verb phrase can sometimes be effective in slowing down the action or heightening the tension of a scene, as in “Slithering into a coil, the rattlesnake raised its head to strike.”
—Avoid generalizations, vagueness, unsubstantiated conclusions.
—Avoid distracting diction (word choice) or dialect which calls more attention to the writer’s technique, than the story. In rendering dialect, concentrate on the rhythms, syntax and occasional slang rather than apostrophes and altered spellings.
—Avoid abrupt shifts in diction levels, as in going from “poetic” to “nuts and bolts” (Sometimes, though, an abrupt shift in diction level can be used to create an intended comic effect.)
—Avoid getting the events in an action, scene or story out of their chronological or logical order.
—Avoid sentimentality. Avoid feeling and emotion that rings false. This may happen because the writer tells rather than shows/expects the reader to feel something for a character or a situation they haven’t gotten a chance to know or understand —or expects the reader to feel an emotion too soon, before an effect has been allowed to build. In great stories, the reader is moved by what happens, the characters and events, NOT by the writer’s presentation of what happens or the writer’s posturing, or evangelizing.
—Avoid burying your story in description. Startling or beautiful language or detailed scenery does not generate momentum. Long descriptions can dissipate the story’s tension or even appear self-indulgent.
—Write about the places you know best, or really want to know - and do your research!
—Say what you mean clearly. It may be appropriate and effective to be subtle, understated, ambiguous and oblique at times—as long as the reader doesn’t have to struggle or re-read to get at your meaning. Ambiguity is the controlled and deliberate presentation of a limited number of possible interpretations. But Confusion results when the writer omits or blurs information that the reader needs to understand and/or interpret.
—Be authentic. Make the place/world/people/characters you write about come alive by showing respect for relevant details and relevant truths. Places, actions, objects, and dialogue which are rendered in authentic, carefully chosen, specific, telling detail increase the writer’s credibility--and the reader’s trust.